Lessons Through Trails and Pain

For almost two years now I've been in and out of doctors trying to have my fractured metatarsal finish healing. All the doctors can't fathom why a strong health young person as myself isn't healing. The Doctors have issued all sorts of things casts, vitamins, crutches and even a bone stimulator. Still I don't show any improvement, "It should have healed." they say when they see the x-rays. My doctor has extended my time on crutches, but sounds doubtful that my bone will show improvement, and says the next step would be surgery.
For so long I've been mainly trusting that the doctor's advise would heal my foot. Sure I've asked God to heal me occasionally, but I when my foot had shown improvement (about a year ago) I just assumed it was what the doctors and I were doing. I didn't give God really any of the credit, and I'm ashamed to that I didn't. Now that it's not improving at all, I realize it's never the doctors that heal it's God. They can help the healing process, but ultimately it's God.
I'm not blaming him that I'm not healing, I'm actually grateful I haven't because I wouldn't be learning the things God is wanting to teach me, such as acceptance, patience, trust and praise.
Accepting that I'm where God has planned me to be even though I may not be what I'd planned.
Patience as I wait for healing, whether it's through rest, surgery, or God's miraculous healing.
Trusting in God that he has a plan and that he will heal me.
And finally Praising God in my trails and pain.

~Deanna, just a girl learning lessons through pain.

How I'm a Selfish Coward

How can I be so selfish by being scared of what people will think of me, when I'd be sharing something so great? I have never shared the gospel to anyone. How can I be so very selfish? I'll tell you the truth I'm a selfish coward, and that truth scares me so bad.

"But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.” ~Revelation 21:8

Reread that again and pay special attention to the beginning and end of the verse. Done? Did you notice that the cowardly are included with the faithless, the detestable, murderers, idolaters and ect... That's why I'm scared, my cowardice could get me to hell. I've heard that selflessness can lead to the bravest acts, such as taking a bullet from someone else. That's what I want to do. No, I'm not saying I want to die so someone else could live, although I would like to think I could do that. What I'm meaning is I want to be selfless - of course I could never fully be selfless, I think we know there's only one who is truly selfless. But I want to try to be selfless, and with that I'd get bravery to speak the truth about God. I love God and I want him to shine through me.

Lord, Please show me where to go, tell me the words to speak, and give me the love to share. Help me to be selfless God. ~Deanna

Designed To Love

I've always wanted to go on a mission trip, I can remember when I was about 8 years old my dad, two sisters and oldest brother went to the Dominican Republic. Since then I wanted to leave the states and travel to different countries, but that was mainly why I wanted to go. Yes, I loved Jesus, but not enough to try to tell someone about him with a translator.
That was me until about a year ago in May. That's when the reality of death and the need for Christ became real. I had wanted to love Jesus just enough to get a pass into Heaven, but not more. On May 5th 2012 God became real to me, my best friend's brother Joshua Eddy had died. I prayed the whole next day for my best friend and her family. I cry so many tears. Josh had a strong love for the Lord. He wanted to share God's love with others, and he's passion changed my life and many others. So this year I went to Gleanings for the Hungry to help bring others to Christ, but I wasn't actually face to face showing God's love to unsaved.
God has place a need in my heart to love the unloved. The past week I've been praying about a country that as gripped my heart. A country with people who need love. When I went to church this last Sunday, I cried during worship. Almost every song was about God's love. I cried for the children who didn't know that love, but what made me cry more was that I had been keeping that love for myself. Like the servant who hid his talent, instead of inventing in it.
"...from those who do nothing, even what little they have will be taken away." -Mathew 25:29
I don't want to do nothing anymore. I want to love. I really like the song "Made to Love" by Toby Mac, we were all designed to love, and be loved.

"This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you." -John 15:12

He Gave His Life

Jesus gave his life for you. He didn't have to, and he could have changed his mind and saved himself instead. But he loved you so much that he laid down his life, so you can live!
A while back I was talking with my friend about how we feel like we're just wasting our lives doing things that will account to nothing. My friend said something that made me think of something, she said; "I feel like I'm living on borrowed time, and I need to do whatever it takes to make it mean something." In a way we are on borrowed time, because we sinners should have died instead of Jesus who is prefect.
That made me think of a passage in Matthew 6; “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." -Matthew 6 19-21

We need to use our time investing in heavenly things, basically God and his people. Because I'm pretty sure when we go to heaven there won't be any cars, computers, or phones. 

~Deanna, just a girl running on borrowed time.

Taken By God.

The pass year I've learned more about how it is to be a real Christian. The struggles I've gone through have made my faith grow stronger in Christ. At the beginning of summer I found out my best friend (who lives 4 hours away) was going to be baptized. That started me thinking about Baptism and that I hadn't done it yet. One thing was holding me back... I had always heard at baptisms I'd seen that the Elder/Dad asked the person why they were being baptized, the answer was usually "I want to follow in Jesus's foot steps." or something along the same lines. So from a young age I thought that I had to be able to not sin anymore after I was baptized and that I needed to have my life cleaned up.

Then about two months ago, I was listening to my mp3 player and a Lecrae song came on. The words that played through my head phone seemed like a new song. "he was like; "Man I really wanna come to Christ, But I gotta clean my life up first, get my sins together..." It was partially same way I thought of myself with baptism. Then the chorus played. "...Will you take me as I am? I know the way I'm living is wrong, But I can't change on my own, trying to make it alone. I wonder, how could you love me when my life so ugly. But you came down and died for me. Will you take me as I am?" Will you, Lord? "...I'm all screwed up. Figure Hell is what I deserve, But your word says we all fall short so I guess we all outta burn. Teach me I wanna learn How you could save a wretch like me, before death says it's my turn. I think I finally understand No matter my past, you'll still take me as I am." When the song finished I had tears in my eye, God loves me and he has already taken me as I am. 

Baptism isn't about being a forever good person after you've been baptized, as I thought when I was young.
Jesus commanded His disciples to baptize those that believe as a picture and testimony of their faith in Christ. 

Last week I was at a week long mission trip in California know as Gleanings For The Hungry. The second day of work I woke up and had "Take Me As I Am" playing in my head. The next four days I was thinking about the song and about being baptized. On the last day of the week I felt like almost sharing about my struggle with feeling like I couldn't be baptized during testimony time. But I held back, then I told God that I would be baptized after my brother Grant. About a hour later I found out my brother would be getting baptized after lunch before we got on the road heading back home. So on Saturday August 31st I was baptized after Grant. :) I love my Heavenly Father!

Another cool fact. I was reading the book of John while I was there, the date of my baptism was 8-31. 

John 8:31 says "So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples,"

Can't think of a time I was happier then at that moment!

Hugging my brother Grant

Blessing - Fourth Day

1. Color - It adds so much beauty to this world.
2. Blackberries - The berries, not the thorny mess. :) My sister made a blackberry cobbler tonight.
3. Bunnies - Found three wild baby bunnies today.
4. My Mom - She is an incredible servant to God and her Family.
5. My dark hair - I love it and I'm told it's pretty.
6. Light - Think about living on earth in darkness, it would be crazy!
7. Swings - I enjoy going out and talking to God on our swing set.
8. Our House 
9. Rest - God blessed us with a body that needs rest, if we didn't need it then we'd be like God.
10. The power of words - Think about it if God didn't gift us the power of words, we wouldn't know him.

What are something that you are bless with?