I haven't been very happy for... Awhile. Then I realized it's because I'm not being completely myself, I'm constantly trying to impress the people I'm around. At church I'm always trying to dress fancy and sometimes wear a little makeup and I keep wearing belts (Maybe I'm trying to show that my waist does go in?). At art school I'm trying to show off what I'm working on, but it's not like it's that amazing. At my horse group I'm trying to prove that I'm a good rider to the others. Even with my family sometimes I feel like I need to prove that I'm a good writer, that I have something that makes me different. But I don't need to prove anything or impress anyone, it's just makes me unhappy when I don't get the high praise I want. I'm realize now that I could get all the praise in the world and I would still want something more, sure I'd smile and like the complements. But I'd still long to hear a praise from my Lord, to hear "Well done good and faithful servant!". No matter how much amazing drawings I draw, how nice I look, the number of books I write, or how well I ride, would I get that praise. It's people that matter to God not earthly things. I can use the gifts God has given me to help people know him. I need to stop trying to impress everyone and just be myself, and if you feeling like I am then PLEASE just be yourself (jsyk, God mad you to be you and nobody else).
~Deanna, just a girl not trying to impress you with this post. :)